Yesterday was awesome. We dropped the girls off at Grammy’s house for lunch. Then my husband and I went out to our favorite restaurant for lunch and then did some wine tasting. We met the girls and we all went to see “Marley & Me”. In case you haven’t seen it, it is about life, love and family (including a crazy dog named Marley).

What I found most interesting about the story was the real-life-ness of it. Jennifer Aniston (the Mom) makes a choice to stay at home to raise her kids, but she struggles with the decision - and thinks she is a bad person because she struggles with it. Owen Wilson (the Dad) initially takes a back seat to Aniston’s career until they have kids and she stays at home. The film shows the challenges of living your life…working, not working, having kids, having a relationship, going nuts from all of it.

Whether you work, stay at home or some combination of both…life is life and we need to enjoy it and embrace it. I did that yesterday. I enjoyed my husband, my kids, my Mom and myself. Not bad….

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Why do people get sick over the holidays? Last year it was my Mother-in-law who was in the hospital over Christmas. My husband and his sisters were there 24×7 as she tends to lose it when she’s in the hospital (once she tried to “escape” with a potted plant, her purse and her IV bag.)

This year it is my Dad. He is medically a mess…Parkinsons, Emphyzema, and Congestive Heart Failure. Three weeks ago he was still living at home driving my Mom crazy (as usual), walking up stairs and living life, albeit much slower than before. Today, he is in a nursing home, on oxygen, unable to stand and can barely talk.

Us working moms of a certain age (I’m 41) are starting to face the fact that our parents are aging. I have two school age daughters, and now my Dad requires more care and attention than ever before. My Mom, bless her heart, is a wreck but she won’t admit…because she’s always been a working mom. She has always had a job to do. Recently it was taking care of my Dad. Now that he’s in a nursing home, she’s struggling, she’s worried and she’s afraid.

It certainly adds a unique perspective on Working Motherhood…it never ends. It just changes.

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President-Elect Obama is already hard at work and has been busy selecting the members of his Cabinet. I found it rather interesting that he would purposefully choose people who might disagree with him, in other words, “No Men” rather than “Yes Men”–heck, he even selected a couple of “No Women” for that matter. Of course that makes for a very healthy working relationship–a true leader genuinely seeks the counsel of his staff and accepts the proferred advice with consideration and thoughtfulness.  A room full of nodding heads like bobble dolls is not a productive or enriching environment for the President of the United States.  I get it.  I, on the other hand, the President of the small kingdom I like to call My House, would much prefer a Cabinet, make that a House, full of “Yes Men,” bobbing heads and all. Let’s face it, how many times in any given day do I hear “no” to the simplest of requests from the Men in my house? “Can you take out the garbage, please? Turn down the television. Please do your homework. Stop hitting/biting/taunting/torturing your brother.” The list goes on. Worse still is the dreaded “in a minute,” answer which is the first cousin of “No.”  I can’t imagine President Obama asking his Cabinet for advice and them answering “in a minute, Mr. President.” Not gonna happen. So, Mr. President and I differ greatly in our leadership styles and choices. He appears to like his Cabinet members and their differing views, and I would definitely prefer a House full of “Yes Men” or better yet, “Yes, Ma’am, Men.”

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This being the week of Thanksgiving, I felt it only right to take a moment to reflect on all the things I am thankful for this holiday season.  In true David Letterman fashion, I devised a Top Ten of Thankfulness.  Here they are in no particular order:

• Family and friends
• My health and the health of my family
• French fried onion rings in a can–preferably topping green bean casserole
• Cranberry sauce shaped like a can
• Thanksgiving vacation (no packed lunches, homework, and whining about bedtime)
• College football
• Hand-wash only heirloom dishes, taken down from the top shelf, and my best crystal
• My dog’s cold wet nose and sparkly brown eyes
• Two boys who still love hugs and kisses
• The start of the Christmas countdown!

These are my top ten…what are yours?

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Raise your hand if you are guilty of compulsively helping (doing) your child’s projects.  I am not referring to their daily homework–I am talking about the special projects teachers assign kids that ultimately involve extreme parental supervision/participation.  I am currently typing with my hand in the air, by the way.  My third grader and I have just completed his “Cultural Doll” project.  He was given a 14-inch paper doll to dress in traditional clothes from his heritage.  For starters, we are mutts of Scotch-Irish descent.  Deciding which culture to research was the first challenge. Motivating my son to design clothes and dress a doll was the other.  I said, “What if we dressed the doll in a kilt? You know, a skirt.” His eye roll was audible. “OK, a manly skirt, and the man goes commando and carries a large dagger.” Now I had his attention. “Do I have to wear a kilt?” he asked.  I assured him that only the doll had to wear a skirt; he just had to design it.  Again with the eye roll.  So, I helped him with the research; and I helped him pick out the cloth and buttons for the costume; and I helped him make patterns and cut out the clothes.  I had to help him cut out the patterns because he’s not a very good cutter; and, well, the glue is messy, so I helped with that, too.  OK, I helped a lot.  But he made the face–and even if the eyes are a little wonky, and the eyebrows are querulously perched at 45 degree angles over the eyes, which have rather large bags under them, and the mouth is crazily crooked–it’s all his work.  Now if I could only be there  for the presentation, which is part of the grade. I really want an “A,” and I’m hoping he doesn’t blow it for us!

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I realize that all teenagers think their parents are dumb and out of it.  Since children seem to be growing up faster these days, then the “tweens” must share this same attitude.  My oldest son is 11, and he is right. I am not as smart as him–BUT–that does not make me dumb either. I consider myself to be somewhat knowledgeable of technical devices such as computers and electronics.  Does it matter if occasionally I have to ask my son not only where the remotes are for the television but how to use them?  Not dumb.  What if I stumble upon a software error while trying to run three programs at once, or gosh forbid, a true virus invades my computer, and I have to ask my son how to run the virus scan.  Not dumb. What if I don’t know how to turn on the Wii.  Not dumb.  (Okay, that’s a conscious choice. I don’t want to know how to turn on the Wii).  My point is that I am embracing my son’s perception of me and using it to my advantage. He loves the fact that he can rescue me from computer crashes and software glitches.  He can show me how to turn on the television using no less than three remotes.  I love the fact that I can count on him for low-cost IT support and computer maintenance help. Maybe I should forget how to wash my car or how to take out the trash, too.  I’m such a dummy…!

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Now that things have settled down a bit, I am left thinking….Am I dreaming? Halloween with the kids was a blur. Everyone had a wonderful time, it wasn’t raining, and my husband didn’t get beat up for dressing up as Sarah Palin. Then came the election. I waited, watched and wondered if it could really happen. I found a map of the US and printed copies for all the kids. We colored the states as the results came in. Blue, blue, blue…the tears started flowing. Everyone was totally absorbed…from the 48 year-old to 6 year-old. Then it happened.

The first black man in history was elected President of the Unites States of America. My kids didn’t understand why this was so important. I explained to them the importance of having an African-American in the White House. My youngest daughter (6) asked me “Mom, why does anyone care about his skin?” Great question…maybe no one does anymore.

I saw a wonderful quote rumored to be in the campaign offices of Barack Obama:

Rosa sat so Martin could walk.

Martin walked so Barack could run.

Barack ran so our children can fly.

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Here I am on Sunday night, checking my weekly calendar to ensure I don’t have any upcoming events I overlooked the last time I looked at my calendar, which was around 5:00 on Friday night (right before I turned off my computer for a much needed weekend time out). It’s depressing, really, how I sit here perched above a new week, and the calendar is already full and my shoulders tense.  I couldn’t possibly fit in a spontaneous manicure or pedicure if my life depended on it (which, quite frankly, sometimes it does), or even meet a friend for a quick coffee.  Instead of letting this worsen the “mommy-frown line” that grows between my eyebrows, I decide to take action.  What can I do for my family and me that will lower my blood pressure, raise my sense of self and encourage family time and bonding?  This is what I came up with, with a little help from some friends, and the ideas are all rather elementary yet effective (they’re also featured in great detail in the book 42 Rules for Working Moms). Try one this week with your family, or try them all. They don’t require extra time out of your calendar, and the benefits are wonderful.

1. Eat meals together
2. Stand up straight
3. Make it good enough
4. Read and be read to
5. Be flexible
6. Have sex

I think my husband added the last one…!

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While I completely disagree with her politics, and don’t feel she is a viable candidate for VP of the US, I have to agree that Sarah Palin should be allowed to take her kids with her if she has to travel for business. In fact, I had an interesting chat today with blogger and Huffington Post columnist, Eve Tahmincioglu, about this very thing. Eve’s post is a realistic perspective about working motherhood.

I brought up the fact that it isn’t fair that American businesses (and the government) don’t want to deal with the fact that women work and we have kids. Case in point, Michelle Lamar, blogger at White Trash Mom, wrote in her rule…”If the world is going to pretend that I don’t have kids, then I’m going to pretend I have clients.” This give her an out when she needs to do “kid stuff”. She plans a meeting with “Charlie” her pretend client. It’s no one’s business what’s she doing as long as the job gets done. Here, here!

To be honest, I don’t care if Sarah Palin brings Trigg on a business trip. I just hope he doesn’t spit up on her just before a press conference. Tine Fey would have a field day!

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This little gem is a haiku from my friend Pam:

Toddler wants remote

Six year old wants computer

Mommy wants coffee

It made my morning. You can follow Pam (pamfr) and me (lauralowell) on Twitter if you like.

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